WHAT? WHERE?

Bright white and perched on a secluded hilltop overlooking the coastal town of Alvor, adult-only Longevity Health & Wellness Hotel looks more like a Bond villain’s lair or futuristic hospital than a hotel. Which is fitting as it’s regularly flagged as one of the leading medi-spas in the Algarve, a place where anti-aging through prevention are buzz words. It’s designed to look like a wave, though its surroundings are more remote suburbia than seafront, which is a 25 min stroll away. Faro Airport’s an hour’s transfer.

THE VIBE

Quite clinical. More health retreat than pampering palace, this definitely isn’t a cackling with your mates in a Jacuzzi, Champagne and mani-pedi kinda spa. Its no-nonsense, expensive decor screams ‘we mean business and get results’ with its abundance of calming neutrals like white, cream, wood and taupe.

Warning, the glass-walled bathrooms might be a step too far if you’re travelling with a friend or partner – seeing them naked in the shower’s fine, but on the toilet? Not so much.

THE SPA

Whether you want a full body MOT, detox, weight loss, help with the menopause, teeth whitening, to tackle diabetes or kickstart a healthy eating regime, help is at hand. Seriously, the menu of treatments and therapies is loooong, detailed and impressive.

My two-day taster started with a doctor’s consultation (we chatted work stress levels, peri-menopause and longevity aims) and a biophysical evaluation.

What followed was a personalised programme of weird and wonderful treatments, starting with a Detox Bath – 30 mins lying in warm, salty water while being gently pummelled by jets, which turned out to be a great way to get over flight fatigue and have a blissful night’s sleep. 

Heard of Medical Pressotherapy? Thought not. It involves pulling on some spa pants followed by a pair of white tissue paper trousers and finally what looked like giant waders and a bullet-proof vest. My therapist pressed a few buttons on a machine and suddenly the vest started to inflate and exert pressure, before deflating.

It was like being wrapped in an enormous blood pressure band, which would tighten until I was almost uncomfortable and then suddenly release, just in time, before moving onto another body part – waist, hips, thighs, knees, calves and feet. Repeat. For thirty minutes. Completely bonkers, but fine when you relax. So what exactly was this doing? Helping the body eliminate toxins, improving blood flow and treating cellulite. Well worth wearing a pair silly trousers for. 

I also tried an Ozone and Oxygen therapy session – 20 mins of vitamins (including Bs, C, A) being pumped into my system via an IV drip. Why? Apparently it helps everything from improving the condition of your skin and hair to boosting your immune system. I swear I felt better in minutes of this treatment (I’d arrived with flu-like symptoms), including more energy and less fatigue. The nurse confirmed it can have that effect.

The Biophysical Evaluation was fascinating (for me!). Scans of my palms identified health markers like visceral fat, skin elasticity, levels of antioxidant protection and heavy minerals in the blood. My weight, BMI, metabolism and body fat mass showed up as normal, but the results did reveal I need to build more muscle. Apparently as the body ages, muscle declines (particularly in women) which can lead to problems like osteoporosis. The solution? Incorporating weights into my training, using my bodyweight (eg push-ups) and upping my protein intake.

Things I didn’t have time to try but wish I had included a floatation pool, hammam, cryotherapy, cool sculpting, Iyashi Dôme and colonic hydrotherapy. Next time.

FITNESS

The gym is probably the last thong on your mind, but it’s easy to keep fit at Longevity. There’s an infinity roof top pool, spa pools, private fitness room, guided hikes into Alvor, a daily roster of classes and a big gym if you’re a devoted bunny. On top of all that guests can book a Fitness Evaluation, which included things like a one-mile treadmill walk, squats, push-ups and sit-ups to determine your cardio resistance and capacity to absorb oxygen. All the info’s then used to build an exercise programme just for you. In my case, working on building muscle and upper body strength.

I also joined a one-hour pilates session which was one-on-one and excellent. I knew some of the moves from classes back home, but there were some new breathing techniques (inhaling for five, releasing for five) I picked up that were intense and really worked.

SCOFF & QUAFF

It’s not as simple as eating and drinking here. A nutrition consultation exposes your bad habits (a daily chocolate treat in my case) and encourages you to think about your diet and aging (upping protein, cutting back on refined foods, eating loads of fruit and veg). I did feel like I already knew a lot of the info I was given, but there’s nothing like saying what you really eat out loud to a professional to make you stop and reconsider your eating habits.

Luckily it’s easy to get back on track at Longevity as healthy, Mediterranean meals are served in top floor Pure Café, which is drenched in sunlight thanks to floor-to-ceiling windows. Breakfast was the highlight, a daily treat with plenty of veg and salad buffet options alongside cereals (laden with nuts and seeds), fruit and a hot meal choice such as eggs and spinach or pancakes. I miss the range of teas to dip into throughout the day, including Longevity’s own detox blend. 

Lunch was a healthy (obvs) salad while dinner was more Med fare: think split pea soup followed by vegetarian lasagne, fresh tuna with edamame or monk fish with seasonal vegetables. One night I even had a cheeky panna cotta dessert.

OUT & ABOUT

Alvor’s a coastal town with a fishing village vibe, famous regionally for its glorious sunsets, great beaches, pretty white-washed houses and protected wetlands of the Ria de Alvor, which you can explore via a network of boardwalks.

The beaches are great, particularly Praia do Alvor, a vast stretch of golden sand where tourists flock in summer but which I found pleasingly peaceful out of season. And enjoy a scenic stroll along the cobbled waterfront, from the cluster of fisherman’s huts in the south to the pretty harbour in the north.

Craving carbs? I won’t tell the spa if you make a beeline for bakery Confeitaria d’Alvor, which sells the best traditional Portuguese pasteis de nata (custard tarts) ever.

THE MUDDY VERDICT

Good for: If you’re a mid-lifer feeling like you need a body MOT, to get back in shape, have a specific health concern or are starting to get anxious about aging well, this is the place for you.

Not for: If you want to lie on a lounger by a pool and catch some rays while enjoying the occasional massage, book a hotel with a spa in a more scenic setting.

GO THERE!

Rooms at Longevity Health & Wellness Hotel from £91pn. Book individual treatments and consultations or packages, which range from a two-night rest and relaxation spa getaway for £313 through to a £23,934 one-month Longevity Obesity Optimisation.