Muddy Stilettos


<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-where">WHAT? WHERE? </h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="799" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-7-1.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-104696" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-7-1.jpeg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-7-1-600x320.jpeg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-7-1-1000x533.jpeg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Nestled in Franciacorta&#8217;s stunning countryside around an hour from Milan, the pampering begins before you even reach the hotel thanks to transfers from the city airport in L&#8217;Albereta&#8217;s BMW EV, complete with tablets in the arm rests and massage seats. I’d risen at 4.30am to catch my flight from Heathrow, so the extreme comfort caused me to nod off for a bit &#8211; when I opened my eyes Milan’s high rise suburbs had transformed into snow-topped mountains, acres of vineyards and historic villas.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-vibe">THE VIBE</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1037" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.23.53-1.png" alt="" class="wp-image-104697" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.23.53-1.png 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.23.53-1-600x415.png 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.23.53-1-1000x691.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>L&#8217;Albereta&#8217;s a Relais &amp; Châteaux, five-star escape set in a neo-renaissance villa filled with fine-dining, a wonderful bar and terrace, grand staircases, original art works, antiques and cosy spaces with roaring fires to curl up by with a book. It felt more like staying in a wealthy Italian aristocrat&#8217;s house than a hotel, though I was there to experience its Chenot Espace spa, so had to forgo sampling the rich cuisine and local wine (though I&#8217;d love to return in summer to sample it). </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-spa">THE SPA </h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-3-1000x667.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-104644" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-3-1000x667.jpeg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-3-600x400.jpeg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-3.jpeg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>The Chenot Method&#8217;s famous world-wide. Devised more than 50 years ago by Henri Chenot, who was passionate about preventing disease through detoxing, rebalancing and early intervention, there&#8217;s a signature spa in Switzerland, but this Italian outpost is also impressive: two floors of massage rooms, medi area, gym, pool, sauna and hydrotherapy.</p>



<p>After a loooong Christmas break looking after other people, hoovering up mince pies, drinking alcohol and succumbing to a severe bout of flu, I entered 2025 feeling below par, so I signed up for the three-night<a href="https://www.albereta.it/en/henri-chenot-spa-method/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"> Cleanse &amp; Rebalance </a>programme in the hope I could get some energy and enthusiasm back. </p>



<p>I was sceptical that three nights would be enough time to get back me back on track, but I was wrong because it turns out you can reset bad habits, lose weight and clear your head in less than four days on a personalised programme, which is remarkable. </p>



<p>After being handed my three-day schedule (everything&#8217;s planned in advance) things kicked off with a 45-minute bio energy consultation with Dr Guiliana, who correctly diagnosed that both my teeth and sleep were problematic (spot on) and what I could do about it. This was followed by a medical consultation with Dr Oxana Mirkh, which was also enlightening. She identified my stiff back and shoulders due to excessive computer work, so added a back and head and shoulder massage to my programme. </p>



<p>I enjoyed daily Phyto-Mud treatments, where detoxifying mud was applied all over my body before I was wrapped up and asked to lie down on a water bed while the lights were dimmed. It was cocooning and, after an initial panic that I couldn’t move my arms and itch my nose, I zoned out until the therapist reappeared 30 minutes later and led me to a chamber where she hosed me down with a powerful hydrojet to remove the mud and give my body another boost. </p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="643" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.34.42-1000x643.png" alt="Hyrdobarth at Chenot Espace " class="wp-image-104647" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.34.42-1000x643.png 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.34.42-600x386.png 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.34.42-1536x988.png 1536w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Screenshot-2025-02-04-at-19.34.42-2048x1317.png 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Hydrobaths each day were another revelation. Stripping down and lying in a warm bath while a therapist poured in detox oils and then turned on the jets was a bit intimate, but after she left it was very relaxing. Rather than being blasted all over, the jets start at your feet and slowly work their way up your body &#8211; the pummelling&#8217;s strong, but not uncomfortably so, and I could really feel the benefits, particularly on my thighs and bum. </p>



<p>A nutrition consultation with dietician Cinzia Melis, was fascinating. She packed a lot into a 30-minute session, and we chatted about everything from diet to peri-menopause (she’s in the menopause and looks fantastic!). It also included a body composition analysis, which is like an MOT for your body revealing where you&#8217;re at in terms of weight, fat mass, bone mass, BMI and, gulp, your metabolic age (mine was 35 which I was overjoyed at tbh). </p>



<p>Looking at the results, she advised that I need to do more work on building muscle, up my protein and take daily Omega 3. She&#8217;s also the first health expert I&#8217;ve ever met who advises not drinking too much water &#8211; one to two litres a day is fine, any more and you’re going to get water retention which can make you heavier and more bloated than you naturally would be. </p>



<p>A Chenot energetic massage turned out to be cupping, which was a new experience for me. Clear plastic cups are attached to a machine and then placed around the body while they gently vibrate, extracting water, detoxifying and and toning. My expert therapist, Paola, also massaged me whilst doing this &#8211; I’m not sure how she managed to do it all at once, but the results were remarkable. My hunched-over-a-computer back tight muscles and stiff neck melted.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-fitness">FITNESS </h2>



<p>There&#8217;s a well equipped gym at Chenot Espace, where my schedule included a Neurac Mobility session which helps restore mobility through the use of slings. I lay on a treatment bed while my legs were manoeuvred into all kinds of positions &#8211; it had a reformer pilates vibe and was prescribed by the doctor after our initial meeting. This is one of the reasons Chenot has got it so right &#8211; everything is curated just for you. If you really want to get into shape, book a three-night Fitness Programme, which includes cardiorespiratory fitness and strength and balance assessments. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-scoff-amp-quaff">SCOFF &amp; QUAFF</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-6-1000x667.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-104698" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-6-1000x667.jpeg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-6-600x400.jpeg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Unknown-6.jpeg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>For those &#8216;on a programme&#8217;, dinner’s served in a separate dining room to the lavish main restaurant (think marble bar, open fire, mouth-watering menu), which is smart as it prevents temptation. At this point I’d like to say how unbelievably good it was to have tasty meals prepared and calculated for me &#8211; guests on Cleanse &amp; Rebalance are allowed 1500 calories per day, including fish and animal protein, those on the detox are given 850 calories, though neither can have caffeine. I missed caffeine more than wine and sugar snacks, particularly on day two when a withdrawal headache kicked in. </p>



<p>At supper I dined on three courses, such as hispi cabbage, minestrone soup and sole with vegetables, and finished with a herbal tea. Lunch consisted of dishes like delicious cauliflower sushi with lime and tamari sauce, a salad and quinoa with vegetables, raisin and smoked paprika. And for breakfast I enjoyed bowls of nuts, a beautifully presented poached apple dotted with oats, yogurt and herbal tea. The upshot is I thought I&#8217;d be starving but I wasn&#8217;t &#8211; it&#8217;s all so beautifully presented, a feast for the eyes that somehow keeps you going until the next meal. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-out-amp-about">OUT &amp; ABOUT </h2>



<p>One afternoon I strolled into the sleepy village a kilometre away. It was great to breathe in the fresh air, see rows of towering Cypress trees piercing the blue sky and acres of vineyards in the surrounding hills. Another afternoon I explored the hotel’s grounds, which house a wild fitness circuit and are dotted with art work and sculptures. Other than that, it was all about the spa, healthy meals and reading in my room. Bliss. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-muddy-verdict">MUDDY VERDICT </h2>



<p>This is one of the best spas I’ve ever been to. I left feeling lighter, happier and with lots of energy. You&#8217;re scooped up and taken care of from the moment you arrive &#8211; making multiple choices all the time in the modern world can be stressful and this is a chance to take a break from the overwhelm of constant planning and decision making.</p>



<p>I also loved how personalised the programme was, and the fabulous team work seamlessly to ensure that you look and feel better when you depart, from the amazing meals to the hydro treatments. I lost some weight and, although it wasn’t the reason I went, I can’t deny it feels really good. Most importantly, I&#8217;m carrying on with the good advice back home, including limiting my caffeine intake, switching sugary snacks for nuts and berries and increasing strength training. In short, a three-day retreat has had lasting results. </p>



<p><strong>Good for:</strong> Finding out how you&#8217;re doing health-wise, getting advice on wellbeing concerns and kick-starting a healthy new regime. With Chenot&#8217;s team of experts on hand it&#8217;s impossible not to feel better (and lighter) when you leave. </p>



<p><strong>Not for:</strong> If your idea of a spa weekend is sitting in a hot tub with a glass of Prosecco and the girls, The Chenot Method&#8217;s not going to hit the spot. </p>



<p><strong>Go there! </strong> </p>



<p>A three-night <a href="https://www.chenot.com/chenot-espace/lalbereta/programmes/cleanse-and-rebalance/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Cleanse &amp; Rebalance Programme</a> costs £2208pp (€2415) including accommodation, three meals per day on the biolight menu, medical consultation, bio-energetic consultation, body composition analysis, nutrition consultation, daily hydro-aromatherapy treatments, phyto-mud treatments and Chenot energetic massages. </p>


Spa hotel of the month: L’Albereta Chenot Espace, Italy

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