THE LOWDOWN

If you’ve been reading Muddy for a while you’ll probably know a few things about me. I like luxury in liberal doses. I love exploring off the beaten track. And yes, the idea of any large organised group activity can make me feel a leetle bit queasy. So on the face of it, going for a week on a cruise ship with capacity for 5200 guests (just think about that number!) isn’t the smartest of moves – even it is island hopping across Antigua, Barbados, Dominic Republic, Martinique, St Kitts, St Lucia and St Maarten.

And yet… P&O Cruises’ Arvia ship, so new it was formally named just last month in Barbados (by Nicole Scherzinger, with a bit of help from Olly Murs, below, Trevor Nelson, Alex James and Sarah Cox – not even kidding), has me rethinking the whole cruise experience.

THE VIBE

Visually Arvia is ‘Soho House meets Dubai shopping mall’. It’s a gargantuan task trying to interior design a floating city, but all power to the Arvia team, because I’d say they’ve succeeded. Large atrium areas with their elevators and cascading chandeliers and shiny floors will always struggle to convey personality but there are some notably chic retro-inspired areas led by Anderson’s Bar and The Cellar Door.

In terms of general atmosphere, the mix of guests on the Arvia were largely Brits, and unsurprisingly there was a notable older contingent, but there were also quite a few younger families (perhaps attracted to the stand-out childcare on offer), and even some couples in their late twenties/early thirties who had been on cruises last year, loved it and were coming back for more.

It’s also worth pointing out that there’s a lot of space on this ship – it’s 342m long and 42m wide, with a mind-bending 30 restaurants, 16 decks, 10 whirl pools, huge luxury spa, massive fitness space, plus the usual cinemas, theatres, shops and bar area, so despite the large numbers of holidayers, there’s a surprising feeling of largesse and relaxation that I wasn’t expecting. The only thing I queued for (three minutes!) was my morning takeaway coffee.

STAY

Attractive and comfy. I was staying mid-range in a Balcony Room, and there was plenty of room for both a generous double bed, plus a separate sofa (used unceremoniously as dumping ground for my clothes), large comfy bed and a private balcony where I sat and had my room service breakfast every morning. There was plenty of storage space and the bathroom, though it was pretty compact, had a storming shower with White Company products.

If you’re feeling flush you could instead choose a Conservatory Mini Suite with an additional lounging area – think floor-to-ceiling glass (and an external door) between the main cabin area and balcony. Or go full VIP with a 434-530 sq. ft. suite with butler service, large bathroom with full-size whirlpool bath, and separate seating area. At the other end of the spectrum, there are Standard Sea View rooms (porthole rather than balcony) or Inside rooms (no natural light) but I’d be steering hard for balcony-plus on a week long holiday.

SCOFF & QUAFF

There’s been plenty of investment in this area with celebrities like Saturday Kitchen’s wine expert Olly Smith and chef José Pizarro collaborating on tapas and wine pairings in The Glass House and the Cellar Door. My big tip is for Green & Co feat. Mizuhana caters to pescatarians and veggies and includes an awesome sushi bar where I ate my weight in salmon with a side helping of saki, but I’d also recommend The Beach House where Trinidad-born, UK-based TV chef and presenter Shivi Ramoutar gives her own modern twist to Caribbean cuisine. If you’re not feeling it for fine dining, there’s a buffet, take away stations (fish n chips, katsu curry and so on) or at the crazier, Brits-abroad end of the spectrum, a Sunday roast complete with Yorkshire puds (!). Basically, whatever culinary whim takes your fancy, you’ll find it here.

THE SPA

Trust me when I tell you this – you’re going to love the spa. I managed five facials and massages in seven days so I’m speaking from experience! The beauticians really know their stuff, and the 18 treatment rooms are stunning – roomy, bright and with calming ocean views.

There’s a Thermal Suite with heated and cooling chambers, heated lounge chairs, jacussi and all that jazz. Also worth making time for the Health Club – I was too disorganised to book in time, but several friends I met on the trip did PT sessions, yoga and other classes and said it was fantastic. The classes start early so even if you’re going out on shore you can get in a sneaky workout first.

THE POOLS AND DECKS

Here’s something a first-time cruiser might not appreciate – the swimming pools on cruise ships are small compared to bricks-and-mortar hotels, and there’s a lot of competition for sun-loungers. No biggie if you’re heading out every day to a different island as I did, but if you’re imagining 25m swimming lanes and huge decks where you can spread yourself out, think again. I started using The Retreat, a private VIP open air deck area with cabanas, drinks and food on hand and fresh towels (you need to book it as an additional cost but it’s really worth it), and cooling off in the shower. That’s my total tip for the top, it made all the difference to my week.

FOR KIDS

Children are well catered for here, with childcare from 6 months to 17 in banded age groups, and everything from crazy golf and escape rooms to the cinema to a high ropes course to keep them busy. For families there’s Greatest Days – The Official Take That Musical (Gary Barlow is the musical director) and for older teens there are DJ sets on the Sky Dome later at night.

OUT AND ABOUT

You can either book a day out organised from the boat or go freeform, but either way you’re in the Caribbean, hot stuff, and it’s going to be amazing. So many highlights across the islands but in no particular order… Swimming with turtles in Barbados, wandering around the market and streets of Fort-de-France in Martinique, below…

…. or speed-boating around the Pitons in St Lucia (below) –

… sailing on a catamaran with dolphins playing around us

…snorkelling around Caribbean coasts

… eating out with a view out out over St Lucia’s iconic Pitons (and yes, getting a bit piddled)

… or spending the evening the super-trendy The Local and Co in Barbados (photo taken at the end of a long night when everyone else had gone – totally love the chandeliers!).

THE MUDDY VERDICT

Good for: There’s no doubt that cruising suits older travellers who love the convenience and ease of holidaying on the shop but I think it would also really work brilliantly as a multi-generational holiday – your parents will feel comfortable, your kids will have plenty to do whether they’re toddlers or teens, and you can hop off doing trips every day. The pricing is very competitive when you factor in flights and the all-inclusive elements and there’s enough luxury as extras to make the holiday feel special.

Not for: If large swimming pools and quietly elegant five-star sunbathing areas are your holiday essentials, swerve now. Those who are looking for luxe (think sushi, spa, PTs, trips out), bear in mind that they carry an extra fee and the cost of your holiday can tot up quickly.

A seven night fly/cruise to the Caribbean on Arvia costs from £1,369pp for an inside cabin. Departing March 9, 2024 from Antigua, ports of call are Basseterre (Saint Kitts), Fort de France (Martinique), Castries (Saint Lucia) and Bridgetown (Barbados). (Flights included). View Caribbean cruises on Arvia for 2023 and 2024.

pocruises.com