Muddy Stilettos


<p>Not every rut is dramatic. Some are simply beige – same group chats, pasta on rotation, rinse-and-repeat routines. Nothing’s catastrophically wrong, it’s just all a bit meh. And when everything feels mildly drudgy, that’s your cue: time to add a little fizz. Before you roll your eyes, this isn’t about toxic positivity or manifesting a yacht. </p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-42.jpg" alt="Chartered psychologist Suzy Reading" class="wp-image-132089" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-42.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-42-600x600.jpg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-42-300x300.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-42-500x500.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>We sat down with Chartered Psychologist <a href="https://www.suzyreading.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Suzy Reading</a>, author of <em>How to Be Selfish</em>, to talk about why joy isn’t a fluffy extra but a biological necessity. She explains that it actively shifts the body out of stress mode and into “rest and digest” &#8211; the state that supports better sleep, stronger immunity and steadier emotions. Think less frazzled hummingbird, more contented cat. Even simple sensory comforts &#8211; the swaddle of a weighted blanket, a hand resting on your chest, the smell of fresh coffee &#8211; can calm the nervous system surprisingly quickly. We’ve mastered productivity. Now it’s time to master pleasure.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-stop-treating-joy-like-dessert">1. Stop treating joy like dessert</h3>



<p>Pleasure tends to sit at the bottom of the list – a reward once everything else is done. The problem? Everything else is never done. Try flipping it. Put something enjoyable in the diary first – a delicious flat white on your walk to work, a wild swim, a gallery wander, lunch somewhere that uses cloth napkins. If it’s scheduled, it’s real.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-try-awe-hunting">2. Try &#8220;awe hunting&#8221;</h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="2560" height="1707" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-scaled.jpg" alt="WOMAN LISTING TO MUSIC HEADPHONES" class="wp-image-132993" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-600x400.jpg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/WOMAN-LISTING-TO-MUSIC-HEADPHONES-2048x1366.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px" /></figure>



<p>This isn’t about chasing peak experiences. It’s about noticing what’s quietly delightful. The smell of fresh laundry. The bassline in your headphones. Dappled sunlight through trees. A dog living its absolute best life in the park. Training your attention towards moments like these gently balances the brain’s natural bias towards stress and problems. It’s simple – and surprisingly powerful.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-upgrade-the-ordinary">3. Upgrade the ordinary</h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="714" height="500" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/SevenSeventeen-candle-subscription-714x500.jpg" alt="Candle " class="wp-image-51715" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/SevenSeventeen-candle-subscription-714x500.jpg 714w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/SevenSeventeen-candle-subscription-300x210.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/SevenSeventeen-candle-subscription-750x525.jpg 750w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/SevenSeventeen-candle-subscription.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 714px) 100vw, 714px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption"><a href="https://sevenseventeen.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Seven Seventeen</a> mood-boosting candle</figcaption></figure>



<p>Joy doesn’t have to involve a boarding pass. Burn the good candle midweek. Buy the flowers. Wear the silk shirt on a random Thursday. Order the interesting thing on the menu. Tiny upgrades signal that this moment matters &#8211; and so do you.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-curate-your-inputs">4. Curate your inputs</h3>



<p>If your phone is a conveyor belt of comparison and low-grade panic, your nervous system never truly switches off. Edit ruthlessly. Follow accounts that uplift. Mute what drains you. Protecting your energy isn’t dramatic, it’s intelligent.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-reclaim-something-you-used-to-love">5. Reclaim something you used to love</h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1707" height="2560" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg" alt="Woman dancing in ballet shoes" class="wp-image-132989" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg 1707w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-400x600.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-667x1000.jpg 667w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anton-titov-H9-uNO9NroQ-unsplash-1365x2048.jpg 1365w" sizes="(max-width: 1707px) 100vw, 1707px" /></figure>



<p>Before life became one long logistics spreadsheet, what absorbed you completely? Dancing. Drawing. Baking elaborate cakes. Horse-riding. Trashy novels. Whatever it was, bring a version of it back – without the pressure to be impressive. Play isn’t childish. It’s restorative.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-do-something-slightly-decadent-on-a-tuesday">6. Do something slightly decadent (on a Tuesday)</h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="720" height="481" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/FACIAL-720x481.jpg" alt="Book the facial" class="wp-image-4087" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/FACIAL-720x481.jpg 720w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/FACIAL-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/FACIAL.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px" /></figure>



<p>Joy sweet spot: small, intentional indulgence. Book the facial. Take yourself out to lunch with a book. Slip into a boutique fitness class mid-morning and call it “research”. The aim isn’t extravagance &#8211; it’s autonomy. A gentle rebellion against constant responsibility can be wildly refreshing.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-7-engineer-anticipation">7. Engineer anticipation</h3>



<p>One of the quickest mood lifts? Having something to look forward to. A weekend away. A dinner reservation. Even just the next episode queued up tonight. Anticipation itself creates a sense of forward momentum &#8211; and the brain loves that. Schedule pleasure like you schedule everything else.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-8-move-for-mood-not-metrics">8. Move for mood, not metrics</h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="649" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Kahm-swim-1.jpg" alt="Swim, surf. Do more things that spark joy" class="wp-image-58962" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Kahm-swim-1.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Kahm-swim-1-600x389.jpg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Kahm-swim-1-809x525.jpg 809w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>If exercise has become another performance arena, change the brief. Dance in the kitchen. Walk somewhere beautiful. Play in the surf. Stretch while listening to something you love. Movement that feels expansive rather than punishing is far more likely to calm stress and lift your mood.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-9-share-it">9. Share it</h3>



<p>Joy compounds when it’s shared. Send the voice note about the ridiculous thing that happened. Take someone with you to see the sunset. Stay at the kitchen table longer than necessary. Connection amplifies good moments &#8211; and in a culture that often prizes independence above all else, that matters. </p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-bottom-line">The bottom line</h3>



<p>Joy isn’t self-indulgent. It’s a nervous-system reset, an energy boost and a quiet act of self-respect. The more intentionally we seek it, the more available it becomes. Start small. Notice what feels good. Book the lunch. Light the candle. Life is happening now &#8211; not once the inbox is empty.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="625" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-13-at-10.58.09-625x1000.png" alt="How to Be Selfish by Suzy Reading" class="wp-image-132110" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-13-at-10.58.09-625x1000.png 625w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-13-at-10.58.09-375x600.png 375w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-13-at-10.58.09-959x1536.png 959w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-13-at-10.58.09.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 625px) 100vw, 625px" /></figure>



<ul>
<li><em>Suzy is a Chartered Psychologist and the best-selling author</em> <em>behind <a href="https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-be-selfish/suzy-reading//9781785045295?sv1=affiliate&amp;sv_campaign_id=626889&amp;awc=3787_1770980044_743b7b7e6064cccb1f8263a220d65a77&amp;utm_source=626889&amp;utm_medium=affiliate&amp;utm_campaign=adstrong" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How To Be Selfish</a>. She can be found @suzyreading</em></li>
</ul>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-in-the-mood-for-more">IN THE MOOD FOR MORE? </h2>



<ul>
<li><a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/wellbeing/how-to-put-yourself-first-in-2026-8-practical-tips/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How to finally put yourself first in 2026 – 8 practical tips</a></li>



<li><a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/wellbeing/2026-wellbeing-fitness-and-beauty-trends/">From sn</a><a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/wellbeing/2026-wellbeing-fitness-and-beauty-trends/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">ackable fitness to adult playgrounds – the 2026 trends worth knowing</a></li>



<li><a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/things-to-do/podcasts/best-wellness-podcasts/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ear therapy: the hottest wellness podcasts right now</a></li>
</ul>


The joy list: 9 ways to bring the sparkle back (starting today)

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