Muddy Stilettos


<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T171650.080.jpg" alt="woman holding apple and doughnut" class="wp-image-83625" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T171650.080.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T171650.080-600x400.jpg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T171650.080-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Don&#8217;t look now, but Quitters Day is coming up fast (FYI: Fri 12 Jan 2024!), so if you feel your determination waning, <em>The Good Habit Workbook</em> author Freya Stephens is coming to the rescue with practical advice and top tips to help you stay on track.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-maintain-motivation">HOW TO MAINTAIN MOTIVATION</h2>



<p>Despite what self-development gurus on the internet tell you, you cannot be motivated and productive all day, every day. It’s OK to take time off, to adjust the level of your activity or to seek help from an accountability partner to help you push through a mental block.<br><br>That said, if you have the energy but lack the motivation, then it is possible to scrape the very bottom of the motivation barrel to find the last measure you have left. Here are a few tips for doing this: Take a break; End in the middle of a task if possible, so you can jump straight in and find your flow the next day; Engage with your big life goal to remind you of your “why”; Discipline is a muscle that can be built. The more you practise it, the better you become at it.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-focus-on-one-habit-at-a-time">FOCUS ON ONE HABIT AT A TIME</h2>



<p>Deciding to make a change can be exciting, so it’s normal to want to add more positive habits to your routine and ditch the negative ones all at once. However, the more you add to your plate, the less focus you can give to any one task, which is where many people go wrong. Stick to this one habit swap and see how it goes for at least 30 days before you consider adding anything else.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-overcoming-self-sabotage">OVERCOMING SELF-SABOTAGE</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="720" height="481" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/woman-running-through-field--720x481.jpg" alt="woman running field wearing a cape" class="wp-image-8140" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/woman-running-through-field--720x481.jpg 720w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/woman-running-through-field--300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/woman-running-through-field-.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px" /></figure>



<p>As soon as you begin a new habit, your subconscious self-sabotage will kick in like clockwork. An example of this could be planning to get up early to go running but choosing in the moment to stay in bed instead. Procrastination is a major form of self-sabotage and many of us fall into this trap.&nbsp;</p>



<p>This could be due to anything from feeling unworthy of the end result, to issues with control, to imposter syndrome, which is an anxious feeling that you will be discovered as a fraud who doesn’t know what they’re doing. In many cases, self-sabotaging behaviours run quite deep, so journalling could be a useful tool.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-wait-for-motivation">DON’T WAIT FOR MOTIVATION</h2>



<p>When building a habit, showing up every day and getting on with the task at hand is the key to sticking with it for the long haul. If you’re waiting for a motivational moment to hit you with the energy and focus you need, it probably isn’t coming. Set up reminders and systems for yourself to make positive habits easier and negative habits more difficult, and just show up. Eventually they will become second nature.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-monitor-your-social-media-use">MONITOR YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USE</h2>



<p>Social media has so many benefits in society, but it’s also distracting when we’re trying to break a bad habit or implement a new one. There are three main ways it can stop us making positive changes:</p>



<ol>
<li>We compare ourselves to others, which makes us feel like we haven’t made any progress towards our goals. This can lead us to sabotage our journey, even though it may be going well.</li>



<li>It’s a huge distraction. Many of us spend hours of our day (and sometimes our night!) on social media, taking away precious hours where we could be building habits.</li>



<li>It invites outside opinion. Sometimes we share our goals or progress on social media, and while this can be useful for accountability in some respects, it also invites strangers to comment on our habits, which can make us feel bad about them.</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-check-in-every-week">CHECK IN EVERY WEEK</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="747" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/pexels-photo-5546831-1.jpeg" alt="chair with journals" class="wp-image-57026" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/pexels-photo-5546831-1.jpeg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/pexels-photo-5546831-1-600x448.jpeg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/pexels-photo-5546831-1-703x525.jpeg 703w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>You may or may not already do some sort of weekly check-in. This means you review what went right in the previous week and what you plan to do better next week. Think of it as a work appraisal, but for habits!&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-slow-and-steady-wins-the-race">SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE</h2>



<p>Knowing what your best life looks like is exciting and often we can’t wait to get started, jump in head first and add lots of big, life-changing habits to our plate… but this is a bad idea. Keeping your habits small, manageable and sustainable is always the best way, so if you have already identified the habit you want to start or stop, consider how you can break it down even further. For example, a 30-minute yoga practice every day before work might be difficult to fit in, but a 15-minute practice could offer many of the same benefits while being more realistic for your schedule and long-term commitment. All we really want is the reward at the end of completing a task, and researchers have discovered that small goals actually lead to greater happiness, so try breaking yours down even further.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-match-habits-to-your-energy-levels">MATCH HABITS TO YOUR ENERGY LEVELS</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="720" height="480" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/stress-720x480.jpg" alt="woman with head in books" class="wp-image-34543" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/stress-720x480.jpg 720w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/stress-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/stress-788x525.jpg 788w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/stress.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px" /></figure>



<p>In cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) there is a concept called polarized thinking, where someone will adopt an all-or-nothing approach and ignore complexity. It’s easy to feel this way with habits: either we feel good enough to carry out a task in its entirety, or we decide not to do it at all, with no in-between.</p>



<p>Having three different levels of your habit can help. You need to design an easier version of the habit, which can be done without friction and without expending much energy. Create three different levels of your desired habit: one for when you’re feeling at your very best (maybe your energy is high and your mental health is excellent); one for when you’re feeling average (you can get through your tasks for the day but you feel a little “bleh”); and one for when you’re feeling low (perhaps you are physically tired or emotionally drained).</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-celebrate-small-wins">CELEBRATE SMALL WINS</h2>



<p>As you continue on your journey, don’t forget to schedule in some days to celebrate how far you have come already. It’s far too easy to get stuck on the hamster wheel of habit setting and forget that, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet, you have already made significant progress.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-getting-over-the-wall">GETTING OVER THE WALL</h2>



<p>While on your habit journey, you might hit The Wall. This is a period of time when either your habit suddenly becomes difficult again, you lose all motivation to continue or you begin to question why you started doing it in the first place. Welcome to The Wall!</p>



<p>Although it can feel justified to abandon our habits for the day, vowing to pick them up again tomorrow, this kind of outlook is often flawed. The truth is, if you believe you can procrastinate a habit until tomorrow, then it’s not a stretch to believe you can procrastinate a habit indefinitely. So pick up where you left off immediately, keep going and accept that, while you will inevitably slip up sometimes, it does not negate your progress.&nbsp;</p>



<p>A personal slip-up plan can get you back on track (see below).</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161100.753.jpg" alt="inside the good habits wookbook" class="wp-image-83602" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161100.753.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161100.753-600x400.jpg 600w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161100.753-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Congratulations on taking the first step on your journey towards positive change. The advice in this book, coupled with your determination to improve your daily habits, will carry you along the rest of the way. You deserve all the amazing things coming to you, thanks to your own hard work. Good luck!</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="833" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161139.329-833x1000.jpg" alt="cover of the book The " class="wp-image-83601" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161139.329-833x1000.jpg 833w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161139.329-500x600.jpg 500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161139.329-438x525.jpg 438w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Untitled-design-2023-12-05T161139.329.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 833px) 100vw, 833px" /></figure>



<p><strong><em>This is an abridged version of an extract from The Good Habit Workbook by Freya Stephens. This practical workbook contains actionable advice, effective tips and guided exercises based on trusted cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques.</em></strong> <strong><em>It&#8217;s published by <a href="https://summersdale.com/titles/freya-stephens/the-good-habit-workbook/9781837990283/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Summersdale</a> and costs £12.99</em></strong></p>


New Year’s resolution wobbles? Here’s how you stick to them

You may also like